The Question of 'Liking the Unavailable'

Later that December an issue of Insight Magazine was issued with this subtitle: "True Love: Liking the Unavailable." "True Love" was a section at the end of every issue where teenagers around the country would ask questions about relationships, crushes, and a number of different things and have their questions answered. In this particular issue, the question read, "'I work with a girl whom I really like. Unfortunately, I recently found out that she is dating someone else. Now I feel very guilty because I am attracted to some other person's girlfriend. I don't know what to do. Please help.' - Anonymous" (15). As you can probably guess by the question, it was sent in by me. This was the answer I received:

I know that many people out there may be screaming 'Go for it! She's not married.' The too-used and too-familiar phrase 'All is fair in love' may be flowing out the lips of others ... But (yep, you knew it was coming) what is often disregarded is the story of the poor guy or girl on the other side of the coin, the 'pesky little significant other' who feels like they've been run over by a freight train ... In your situation, should you feel guilty about being attracted to this girl? No, it's natural. However, the situation being what it is should give you pause before you become too involved with her ... Will hurt feelings be inevitable? Perhaps. It comes with the territory. However the difference comes in the fact that you would not be the one to help contribute to those hurt feelings if you just keep your boundaries and be respectful of the relationship this girl has with her man. No matter how you slice it, this girl, though not married,  has someone who is counting on her to keep her word and respect the arrangement they have together. If you care about her, why put her in such a dilemma? ... As I said, you are attracted to her, and it's natural, but keep your boundaries. If you can be her friend and keep your boundaries, then by all means, carry on as friends, but be warned. It can be extremely, extremely hard to separate romantic feelings from a platonic friendship. So if you can't handle it, just keep it a professional work relationship. If her relationship isn't meant to last, and if she feels that there better fits for her guy-wise than her current beau, the relationship will come to a close on its own, not because you pushed it over the edge. God bless you in your task ahead ... I'm praying for you (15).

I thought about what the author had to say and it made sense. The last thing I ever wanted to do was put Rash through any kind of dilemma. I decided right then that I would try my hardest being content as her friend. And if that didn't work, as painful as it was to think about, I would have to step back even further and become that one guy she worked with once. Whatever happened, I knew one thing for sure: she could never, never know how I felt about her. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances beyond my control, "never" would become "soon."

 Work Cited

Taylor-Mduba, Tiffany S. "True Love: Liking the Unavailable." Insight Magazine. 15 Dec. 2012: 15. Print.