Laser Vision

Time passed and soon it was Christmas break. Being out of school, I ended up working with Rashaell about twice as much as usual. She used her new found free time spending it with her new boyfriend, Ryan, which unfortunately meant that she couldn't shut up about him. In every conversation she would find some way to mention him at least once, and let me tell you, it got annoying. For example, we were talking about Christmas shopping: "I already had all my shopping done last month," I said, "I like to get it done early."

     "Most of mine is done," she replied, "I just need to shop for my boyfriend, Ryan."

     Eager to shift the conversation topic, I said: "If it were my dad, the Christmas shopping wouldn't be done until Christmas Eve."

     "My boyfriend, Ryan, is the same way!" She said, "I swear if the stores were open on Christmas day, he'd probably wait 'til then."

     "Oooooooooooof course."

     "My boyfriend, Ryan, is such a character-" she began.

     I turn toward Bri (a customer service rep.) with an obvious look of annoyance on my face: "You hear that, Emma? Her boyfriend's name is apparently Ryan." I said very sarcastically.

     "Oh! That guy that looks like an ape?" Bri said, turning around. According to the look on her face, she didn't know that Rashaell was right behind her. Rashaell looked at Bri, then looked back at me and I said: "I didn't want to say anything, but yeah he kinda does."

     A few days later I was sitting in the break room when Emma walked in and said, "If I could have one Christmas wish, it would be not to have to go back to college after Winter break."

     "If I had one Christmas wish," I replied, "it would be for true love. . . or laser vision. Yeah, I think I'm going with laser vision." She laughed a little bit and I continued: "No, if I were to have once Christmas wish, it would be to have one conversation with Rashaell in which she didn't mention her boyfriend every five seconds."

     "You'd have a better chance at getting the laser vision," she replied.

     I couldn't help but agree, but the funny thing about life is that it always makes a liar out of you. It wasn't more that two days later before I worked with Rash again and, as hard as it was to believe, the impossible happened. In a full eight-hour shift working together, she didn't mention her boyfriend once.

     When my shift ended, I walked over to the customer service counter to talk to Emma. "Oh my gosh!" I said, "It came true! It came true!"

     "What are you talking about?" She asked.

     "My Christmas wish came true!"

     "Oh crap! Did you burn anything?"

     "No, no. Not that!" I said. "The other wish."

     "No way! I wasn't aware that pigs began flying and that Hell froze over."

     "Apparently," I said, "but if this wish came true, where the heck is my laser vision?"