It was September of 2011, the end of Summer. The leaves were turning, the air was becoming chill, the days were getting shorter, and a lot of other stuff was happening that has nothing to do with the story, so I'll move on. One thing you do need to know is that school was back and that meant school kids would be quitting or cutting back on hours making way for new hires. This is how I met Rashaell.
It was exactly one year after I started at Country Mart when I met her. September 15th. It was her third day and she was my sacker support for that night. I remember seeing her walk in. To quote Ted Mosby, "It was like something from an old movie. Where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, 'see that girl? I'm going to marry her someday.'" For me it went more like this: I saw her walking in, I turned to a work buddy and said, "See that girl? She's hot!"
"I don't know," he replied, "at best she's a 4."
"Okay, dude. Your girlfriend isn't here, you can be honest."
"Alright, yeah. She's hot."
And hot she was, crude as that description may seem. She was of average height, thin, and had a light shade of brown hair. And her face, there was something distinctive about it. She didn't look like the cookie cutter high school girl you meet. She was unique.
It was later that night before I actually talked to her and introduced myself. Upon exchanging names, I learned her name was Rashaell. "That's an interesting name," I said.
"Well, 'Nash' isn't a name you hear every day either." She replied.
"I like the name 'Rashaell' though," I said, "it sounds-"
"Black?"
"No?" I said, "What makes you say that?"
"Oh, when my ex-boyfriend told his dad my name, he said, 'Is she a colored chick?'"
"Oh man, no." I laughed, "If anything, 'Rashaell' is more of an Italian name." I waited for the joke to sink in, but she stood there with a look on her face clearly indicating she didn't get the reference.
"How is it Italian?" She said.
"You know, 'you made a long journey from Milan to Minsk. Rochelle, Rochelle?' Milan? It's a city in Italy? Seinfeld? You get it yet?"
She clearly didn't. And for those of you reading that also don't get it, Rashaell is pronounced the same as Rochelle. On the TV show Seinfeld there is a fictional movie/Broadway show called, Rochelle, Rochelle - a young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. In the Broadway musical, the feature song starts out, "You made a long journey from Milan to Minsk. Rochelle, Rochelle."
After talking to her for a bit, I noticed that not only was she hot, but she was an all around awesome girl. She was easy to talk to, interesting to listen to, and she had a really great sense of humor despite not being a Seinfeld fan. We also had a lot in common. For example we shared a similar distaste for flat billed caps. She quickly became my favorite person to work with and days at work were always better when she was around. Though I didn't have any feelings for Rashaell at the time because I was still hung up on Kayla, that would soon change. I had finally met The Right Girl.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby
Welcome back to the story of How I Met Your Ex-Girlfriend. Let's skip ahead a bit to the summer of 2011. Again, a lot of important stuff happened in between, but for the sake of flow I'll just come back to it later. To elaborate on what I said last week, when you are single, all couples suck. And as a single person, it's pretty easy to get annoyed with your couple friends.
In 2011, it seemed like everyone I knew was in some kind of couple, and consequently everyone I knew annoyed the heck out of me. My friend, Jess (introduced in Summer of Darkness Part II) had just gotten into a relationship with some guy. Her sister had stared dating someone. Their cousin, Jill (we'll talk more about her later) had started dating someone as well. So I couldn't hang out with my friends without hearing annoying relationship talk. If that wasn't bad enough, if I ever wanted to be with my family, I was always the third wheel. If I went to a concert with Hope, I was the third wheel to her and her husband. If I was spending time with Bailey, I was again the third wheel. If I was with my parents, guess what, third wheel. If it was a family gathering, I was the seventh wheel. I'm not saying that any of this is a bad thing, but in the late summer of 2011, I was so sick of it that I could scream.
This lead to a humorous altercation one day at work. A cashier, Emma, was going on and on about her boyfriend, Vince. Here is a little of what she said: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." After a while, it all just becomes gibberish. One thing I did make out among all the gibberish was, "I can't believe he hasn't texted me yet today. I'm so worried about him. I hope he's okay. The poor baby."
Being a huge Seinfeld fan and getting very sick of what she was saying, there was only one way to respond to that. "Maybe the dingo ate your baby" I said in an aussie accent. Clearly not understanding the reference, she replied with, "What?" which was perfect because that set me up to finish the referance by repeating, "The dingo ate your baby."
Though all of the relationship talk was annoying, it wasn't the worst thing about that summer. The worst thing was that I had to prospects. All that relationship talk and being the third wheel is a heck of a lot more tolerable when you've met someone that you hope to be a second wheel to. Even if you aren't with that person, it's enough to know she's out there somewhere. Little did I know, she was about to walk through the door. . .
In 2011, it seemed like everyone I knew was in some kind of couple, and consequently everyone I knew annoyed the heck out of me. My friend, Jess (introduced in Summer of Darkness Part II) had just gotten into a relationship with some guy. Her sister had stared dating someone. Their cousin, Jill (we'll talk more about her later) had started dating someone as well. So I couldn't hang out with my friends without hearing annoying relationship talk. If that wasn't bad enough, if I ever wanted to be with my family, I was always the third wheel. If I went to a concert with Hope, I was the third wheel to her and her husband. If I was spending time with Bailey, I was again the third wheel. If I was with my parents, guess what, third wheel. If it was a family gathering, I was the seventh wheel. I'm not saying that any of this is a bad thing, but in the late summer of 2011, I was so sick of it that I could scream.
This lead to a humorous altercation one day at work. A cashier, Emma, was going on and on about her boyfriend, Vince. Here is a little of what she said: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." After a while, it all just becomes gibberish. One thing I did make out among all the gibberish was, "I can't believe he hasn't texted me yet today. I'm so worried about him. I hope he's okay. The poor baby."
Being a huge Seinfeld fan and getting very sick of what she was saying, there was only one way to respond to that. "Maybe the dingo ate your baby" I said in an aussie accent. Clearly not understanding the reference, she replied with, "What?" which was perfect because that set me up to finish the referance by repeating, "The dingo ate your baby."
Though all of the relationship talk was annoying, it wasn't the worst thing about that summer. The worst thing was that I had to prospects. All that relationship talk and being the third wheel is a heck of a lot more tolerable when you've met someone that you hope to be a second wheel to. Even if you aren't with that person, it's enough to know she's out there somewhere. Little did I know, she was about to walk through the door. . .
Friday, February 14, 2014
Happy Singles Awareness Day
"Valentine's Day is a corporate-made holiday designed to sell greeting cards!" That is the answer you will often times get from people who hate Valentine's Day. I, on the other hand, will not give you that answer. "Wait! What?" you say, "How can you hate Valentine's Day? You write a sappy love blog, a guy like you should be crazy about Valentine's Day. Besides, Chocolate!" WRONG! I hate V-Day. I hate it more than any other Holiday (yes, I hate it more than Arbor Day, Groundhog Day, and Boxing Day. . . combined.) I hate it for three basic reasons.
First off, why do I need a holiday to tell me I can eat chocolate? I can eat chocolate any day of the week, why do I need it wrapped up in a heart shaped box? <- - - heh heh Nirvana. Also, when there is no one else to give a heart shaped box of candy to, what is the point?
Secondly, your friends who are in relationships get insufferable on Valentine's Day. If they weren't bad enough the rest of the year, when V-Day comes along their sappiness escalates to a whole new level of sickening. One particular friend comes to mind (she will remain nameless,) she likes to shove her relationship in her single friends' faces. She is constantly posting something on Facebook about her perfect boyfriend and her perfect relationship and it's even worse on Valentine's Day. It's sickening. I don't want to hear it. For instance she posted this recently, *requires reading in a high pitch, stupid voice. "So glad I have [said boyfriend] in my life :) don't know what I would do without him :)" Oh, hm, I don't know, MAYBE EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID BEFORE YOU MET HIM. Duh.
Lastly, when you are single, Valentine's day is just another day reminding you that you are alone. When you are single, V-Day is a holiday specifically designed to mock you and tell you that you are unlovable. You feel like that one chocolate in a box that nobody wants. They just take a bite, realize it's filled with toothpaste, and put it back in the box for someone else to deal with. But when people keep taking a little bite and putting you back, soon there won't be anything left for that one person who actually likes the toothpaste filled chocolates. But that's getting off topic.
However, as much as I hate Valentine's Day, my hate for it is relative. I can't help but think that once I find that one-in-a-million girl, that I will enjoy Valentine's Day. I'll finally have someone to give a box of chocolates to. I'll finally understand why my friends can't stop talking about their relationships. I will no longer be alone. But the question is, I've given a little piece of my heart to so many women at this point, will there be anything left for that one-in-a-million girl when I finally meet her? Who knows. But in the mean time I will continue to hate Valentine's Day, and in protest I will celebrate Singles Awareness Day instead. So, happy Singles Awareness Day. . . Ladies ;)
First off, why do I need a holiday to tell me I can eat chocolate? I can eat chocolate any day of the week, why do I need it wrapped up in a heart shaped box? <- - - heh heh Nirvana. Also, when there is no one else to give a heart shaped box of candy to, what is the point?
Secondly, your friends who are in relationships get insufferable on Valentine's Day. If they weren't bad enough the rest of the year, when V-Day comes along their sappiness escalates to a whole new level of sickening. One particular friend comes to mind (she will remain nameless,) she likes to shove her relationship in her single friends' faces. She is constantly posting something on Facebook about her perfect boyfriend and her perfect relationship and it's even worse on Valentine's Day. It's sickening. I don't want to hear it. For instance she posted this recently, *requires reading in a high pitch, stupid voice. "So glad I have [said boyfriend] in my life :) don't know what I would do without him :)" Oh, hm, I don't know, MAYBE EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID BEFORE YOU MET HIM. Duh.
Lastly, when you are single, Valentine's day is just another day reminding you that you are alone. When you are single, V-Day is a holiday specifically designed to mock you and tell you that you are unlovable. You feel like that one chocolate in a box that nobody wants. They just take a bite, realize it's filled with toothpaste, and put it back in the box for someone else to deal with. But when people keep taking a little bite and putting you back, soon there won't be anything left for that one person who actually likes the toothpaste filled chocolates. But that's getting off topic.
However, as much as I hate Valentine's Day, my hate for it is relative. I can't help but think that once I find that one-in-a-million girl, that I will enjoy Valentine's Day. I'll finally have someone to give a box of chocolates to. I'll finally understand why my friends can't stop talking about their relationships. I will no longer be alone. But the question is, I've given a little piece of my heart to so many women at this point, will there be anything left for that one-in-a-million girl when I finally meet her? Who knows. But in the mean time I will continue to hate Valentine's Day, and in protest I will celebrate Singles Awareness Day instead. So, happy Singles Awareness Day. . . Ladies ;)
Friday, February 7, 2014
The Right Girl
In September of 2010, I would take a step that would change my life. I would take a step into a new world - the world where I met the Right Girl. On September 15th I started my first job at a local grocery store called Country Mart. I was hired as a Sacker (or as I prefer, Consumable Goods Packing Technician.) Little did I know how my life would change after working there.
It wasn't my first choice in jobs. Why? For several reasons. First off, I hate Country music. I hate it with a fiery passion that consumes my very soul. So with a name like Country Mart, you can probably guess what kind of music they play all day.
Second, the sacker position at Country Mart was my sister's (Hope) first job and not two weeks earlier, I had bought my sister's first car. Did I really want to keep following in my sister's footsteps like that? That actually wouldn't be the last time I followed my sisters' footsteps. My second car was the same color and model of my sister's (Bailey) second car. I wrecked that same car in the same place that Bailey wrecked her look-a-like car. Hope's first career choice before switching to Nursing was Radiology. My first career choice before switching to Law was Radiology. Man, I really need to become my own person.
And third, I wanted to work with people my own age and possibly meet my future wife there. I had never seen many young people working at Country Mart (granted this is because I only ever went there in the day time when all the kids my age who worked there were in school,) so I wanted to try and find work at Taco Bell or some place that I had seen younger people work before. But after sending several applications to many different businesses and never getting "the call," I had no other choice but to apply at Country Mart.
Though it wasn't my first choice, it turned out to be a good thing because just a year after taking that job I met someone. Someone very special. And though I didn't know it at the time, she was the Right Girl.
It wasn't my first choice in jobs. Why? For several reasons. First off, I hate Country music. I hate it with a fiery passion that consumes my very soul. So with a name like Country Mart, you can probably guess what kind of music they play all day.
Second, the sacker position at Country Mart was my sister's (Hope) first job and not two weeks earlier, I had bought my sister's first car. Did I really want to keep following in my sister's footsteps like that? That actually wouldn't be the last time I followed my sisters' footsteps. My second car was the same color and model of my sister's (Bailey) second car. I wrecked that same car in the same place that Bailey wrecked her look-a-like car. Hope's first career choice before switching to Nursing was Radiology. My first career choice before switching to Law was Radiology. Man, I really need to become my own person.
And third, I wanted to work with people my own age and possibly meet my future wife there. I had never seen many young people working at Country Mart (granted this is because I only ever went there in the day time when all the kids my age who worked there were in school,) so I wanted to try and find work at Taco Bell or some place that I had seen younger people work before. But after sending several applications to many different businesses and never getting "the call," I had no other choice but to apply at Country Mart.
Though it wasn't my first choice, it turned out to be a good thing because just a year after taking that job I met someone. Someone very special. And though I didn't know it at the time, she was the Right Girl.
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