Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby

Welcome back to the story of How I Met Your Ex-Girlfriend. Let's skip ahead a bit to the summer of 2011. Again, a lot of important stuff happened in between, but for the sake of flow I'll just come back to it later. To elaborate on what I said last week, when you are single, all couples suck. And as a single person, it's pretty easy to get annoyed with your couple friends.

     In 2011, it seemed like everyone I knew was in some kind of couple, and consequently everyone I knew annoyed the heck out of me. My friend, Jess (introduced in Summer of Darkness Part II) had just gotten into a relationship with some guy. Her sister had stared dating someone. Their cousin, Jill (we'll talk more about her later) had started dating someone as well. So I couldn't hang out with my friends without hearing annoying relationship talk. If that wasn't bad enough, if I ever wanted to be with my family, I was always the third wheel. If I went to a concert with Hope, I was the third wheel to her and her husband. If I was spending time with Bailey, I was again the third wheel. If I was with my parents, guess what, third wheel. If it was a family gathering, I was the seventh wheel. I'm not saying that any of this is a bad thing, but in the late summer of 2011, I was so sick of it that I could scream.

     This lead to a humorous altercation one day at work. A cashier, Emma, was going on and on about her boyfriend, Vince. Here is a little of what she said: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." After a while, it all just becomes gibberish. One thing I did make out among all the gibberish was, "I can't believe he hasn't texted me yet today. I'm so worried about him. I hope he's okay. The poor baby."

     Being a huge Seinfeld fan and getting very sick of what she was saying, there was only one way to respond to that. "Maybe the dingo ate your baby" I said in an aussie accent. Clearly not understanding the reference, she replied with, "What?" which was perfect because that set me up to finish the referance by repeating, "The dingo ate your baby."

     Though all of the relationship talk was annoying, it wasn't the worst thing about that summer. The worst thing was that I had to prospects. All that relationship talk and being the third wheel is a heck of a lot more tolerable when you've met someone that you hope to be a second wheel to. Even if you aren't with that person, it's enough to know she's out there somewhere. Little did I know, she was about to walk through the door. . .