Happy Singles Awareness Day

"Valentine's Day is a corporate-made holiday designed to sell greeting cards!" That is the answer you will often times get from people who hate Valentine's Day. I, on the other hand, will not give you that answer. "Wait! What?" you say, "How can you hate Valentine's Day? You write a sappy love blog, a guy like you should be crazy about Valentine's Day. Besides, Chocolate!" WRONG! I hate V-Day. I hate it more than any other Holiday (yes, I hate it more than Arbor Day, Groundhog Day, and Boxing Day. . . combined.) I hate it for three basic reasons.

     First off, why do I need a holiday to tell me I can eat chocolate? I can eat chocolate any day of the week, why do I need it wrapped up in a heart shaped box? <- - - heh heh Nirvana. Also, when there is no one else to give a heart shaped box of candy to, what is the point?

     Secondly, your friends who are in relationships get insufferable on Valentine's Day. If they weren't bad enough the rest of the year, when V-Day comes along their sappiness escalates to a whole new level of sickening. One particular friend comes to mind (she will remain nameless,) she likes to shove her relationship in her single friends' faces. She is constantly posting something on Facebook about her perfect boyfriend and her perfect relationship and it's even worse on Valentine's Day. It's sickening. I don't want to hear it. For instance she posted this recently, *requires reading in a high pitch, stupid voice. "So glad I have [said boyfriend] in my life :) don't know what I would do without him :)" Oh, hm, I don't know, MAYBE EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID BEFORE YOU MET HIM. Duh.

     Lastly, when you are single, Valentine's day is just another day reminding you that you are alone. When you are single, V-Day is a holiday specifically designed to mock you and tell you that you are unlovable. You feel like that one chocolate in a box that nobody wants. They just take a bite, realize it's filled with toothpaste, and put it back in the box for someone else to deal with. But when people keep taking a little bite and putting you back, soon there won't be anything left for that one person who actually likes the toothpaste filled chocolates. But that's getting off topic.

     However, as much as I hate Valentine's Day, my hate for it is relative. I can't help but think that once I find that one-in-a-million girl, that I will enjoy Valentine's Day. I'll finally have someone to give a box of chocolates to. I'll finally understand why my friends can't stop talking about their relationships. I will no longer be alone. But the question is, I've given a little piece of my heart to so many women at this point, will there be anything left for that one-in-a-million girl when I finally meet her? Who knows. But in the mean time I will continue to hate Valentine's Day, and in protest I will celebrate Singles Awareness Day instead. So, happy Singles Awareness Day. . . Ladies ;)