Let's skip ahead a bit. It is now April of 2013 and it's prom night. I'm skipping a lot of important stuff here, but I will go back and talk about them. I'm skipping to this now as to avoid taking a detour later when I'm in the middle of another part of the story. Anyway, it was prom night and it was time to "suit up!"
Being a HUGE How I Met Your Mother fan, I was very eager to put on a suit. Why? 'Cause "Nothing suits me like a suit!" I finished tying my tie and looked in the mirror. With one eyebrow raised and a hint of douche-bag in my voice I said, "Daddy's home. . ." I walked out into the living room where my parents were sitting. I turned slightly to the side, lifted one hand as if to adjust my tie (which, by the way, was not a ducky tie) and turned my head in their direction while looking off into the distance past them and said, "Suit up! Because tonight is going to be legen - wait for it, and I hope you aren't lactose intolerant because the last part is - DARY! Legendary!" I then lifted my hand up for a high five and said, "What in the world is up?!" My parents clearly didn't get this reference because they just sat there and gave me a blank stare. So then I rolled my eyes and turned back around whilst saying, "*phht* Whatever. I'm awesome."
Enough sidetracking. This night was significant night for me because I would move one step closer to letting go, and I would do something I had never done before. Something I thought I would never do. With a girl I thought I would never do it with. Just to be perfectly clear, when I speak of doing "something I had never done before" and "with a girl I thought I would never do it with" I am in no way whatsoever referring to sex. I've had sex way too many times for it to be "something I had never done before." KIDDING! I'm completely kidding! What I am really referring to is dancing (and dancing is NOT another word for sex, you deviants)
For those of you who don't know, I was homeschooled. So pickins were a bit slim when it came to finding a date to the prom. As a result I went in a group to the 2013 FHE Homeschool prom (and no it was not in my kitchen. It was a real prom with real people, thank you very much!) In the group, there were two girls and myself. I liked to make jokes saying that, "I took two girls to the prom and I didn't even get slapped once!" The two other members of my party were Katherine (she was a Sophomore and too young to go the the prom, so she was listed as my +1.) and Erin. Yes, that Erin. You remember, right? The girl I liked even before I liked girls. The girl I screwed it up with by being a coward.
All night she tried to get Katherine and me to get up and dance. Every time we declined, being much more content not making fools of ourselves. We sat there most of the night watching and secretly laughing at the people on the dance floor who were doing some of the dumbest dances we'd ever seen in our lives to some of the dumbest music we had ever heard in our lives. Then, all of a sudden, the kind of music the DJ was playing switched. Before now, it had all been puky-bubblegum-katie-perry-ball-shriveling Pop crap and want-to-blow-my-brains-out Country, but then it changed to kind of a Swing sound. So when Erin came back and asked yet again if I would dance with her, I said okay.
So there I was, my first dance with my first crush. And we danced. We danced for the whole song. And as I looked into her eyes and she in mine, I felt. . . nothing. When I was 10, I was so sure I loved this girl, but now it was gone. . . without a trace. It was strange how time could do that, but at the same time it was encouraging. I thought to myself, if time changed my feelings for Erin, surely it will change my feelings for Kayla.
Time has a funny way of changing things. Nine years ago, I was crazy about Erin. Today if I see her, I feel naught. Six years ago, I was in love with Kayla. Today when I see her picture, no emotions swell up inside. But, that's not entirely true. It's not just time, it's something more than time that changes these feelings. I got over Erin when I met the Girl in the Blue Hoodie. I got over Kayla when I met. . . well, that's another story. Time alone can't heal wounds and change feelings. You've got to meet the right girl.
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