By all appearances, I was fine. Some people expected another Summer of Darkness situation to emerge, but this time I had things under control. I wasn't some kind of over emotional pre-teen anymore. I was a man, and it was time to do what men do with their emotions: never let them see the light of day.
As much as I tried to bury it, I couldn't escape the sadness I felt at her not being here anymore. The best I could do was keep it all to myself, but even that sometimes proved to be difficult. Of course it didn't help that I had to work every day in an environment that reminded me of her. One day at work, Emma asked, "What's wrong with you? You keep spacing out."
"Does it seem darker here to you?" I replied.
"Not really, why?"
"Because, everything right and good about this hell-hole is gone now."
That night I went to bed feeling sad and alone. Regretting every decision I had ever made leading up to this point. I couldn't sleep. I was too angry with myself to allow sleep to take me. I was angry with myself for falling into the same trap that I had fallen into time and time again. Why did I have to have feelings? They just complicate things and make my life miserable. Eventually I drifted off to sleep, but when I woke up everything was different. Everything I had felt the night before and weeks before that was gone. I was fine again and not because of some epiphany or realization, but just because I decided to be. It was that easy. I chose to fine, and fine I would be. I had wasted too much time on one hopeless cause. It was time for me to get back out there, and this time not make the stupid mistakes I had before. No more pining over one unattainable girl. I was getting out there. So find a place to hide, ladies, 'cause daddy's home. (Yes I realize how creepy that sounded. It's a HIMYM reference, so get over it.)
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