Business as Usual

I was dreading work on May 31, 2013. The day before I had told Rashaell how I felt about her and now I had to work with her again. Admittedly, it wasn't my brightest plan to tell her when I did, but I was afraid I would chicken out if I waited much longer. I was seriously considering calling in sick to work that day, but I went anyway. I couldn't just use my courage once and put it back on the shelf like a ball glove. I needed to break it in, use it more.

     I braced myself for the most awkward day of work ever. On a side note, how awkward is the word
"awkward" anyway? It feels awkward coming off your lips, it's awkward to type, it's just an awkward word all the way around. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so I was bracing myself for a weird day. Another side note: "weird" is kind of weird word as well. Not only is it kind of weird to say, but it violates the "I before E except after C" rule. "Their" does that, too. And while I'm at it, what's up with the word "lisp?" Did whoever made up that word want people with lisps not to be able to say what they have? Along the same lines, I think they should spell "dyslexia," sexdyslia so that dyslexics can know what they have. Also saying "dyslexia" is probably hard for people with lisps. So, what was I talking about? Crap! Now I have to read the last paragraph all over again. . . *reading* *reading* *reading* Oh yeah, so I was getting ready for the sure awkwardness to come (by the way, did I mention how awkward the word "awkward is?)

     Luckily, our shifts only overlapped for one hour, but I was expecting it to be the most uncomfortable hour of my life. But here's the kicker: It wasn't. Admittedly, at first I felt a bit awkward. I didn't even say anything to her for about 5 minutes. But after a little bit, she said,"So, how's you're day?"

     To this day, I don't know why I said this, but I said, "Have you ever noticed how awkward the word "awkward" is?"

     "Do you think this is awkward?" She asked.

     "A little." I admitted.

     "It's only awkward if you let it." I couldn't help but think about how well she was taking the whole thing. She didn't even skip a beat. It was business as usual for her. For some strange reason, she was still making an effort to be my friend. If it had been any other girl I knew, she would have run for the hills, shut me out, or mocked me. I did feel a little sad being in the "friend zone" but I had made it clear that I was not looking for anything more and that I just wanted to move on. However, the way she was handling the while situation made me like her even more. My whole plan had backfired. I was now in a deeper hole than I was at the start. "Besides," she continued, "you only told me so that you could move on anyway. It's not like you still harbor feelings for me or anything, right?"

     "Yeah," I chuckled nervously, "right." CRAP!