The Summer of Darkness Part IV: Angelfish

Now, let's get back to the main story. There are certain terms and phrases that I hate. I mean really hate. To the point of getting mad when people use them. Some of these phrases are: "My bad" (Seriously, it makes you sound like a cave man when you say it) "It is what it is" (Duh! Of course it is = it is. Did someone dispute that fact?) "I could care less" (So you could care less? The tone of your voice contradicts what your mouth is saying.) "Not a happy camper" (So what? Are you a happy pilgrim? Try telling us what you are rather than what you aren't. It would be easier. This isn't 20 Questions.) "A bird in the hand is two in the bush" (So what you are saying is "1 bird in hand = 2 birds in bush? I think your math is off.) "Same difference" (Is it the same or is it different? Decide already.) "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times." (1 does not equal 1,000. I suggest you go back and find your mathematical mistake.) "It's always in the last place you look." (No dip, Sherlock. I usually keep looking after I find it.) And the one I hate most is the one that I am writing about today.

     "There are more fish in the sea." I hate that saying more than any other. For one, it uses fish as a metaphor for women, which is really gross because fish smell bad and I would never want to bang a fish. Also, it is probably the least helpful, lazy thing anyone can say for comfort.Your girlfriend broke up with you? There are more fish in the sea. Your wife filed for divorce? There are more fish in the sea. Really? All this time I thought there there was only one woman in the world! Thank you so much for clearing that up! Of course there are more "fish" out there, but does anyone ever stop to consider that maybe you've become attached to that "fish" and that flushing her down the toilet and getting a new one is not only hard, but doesn't fix anything?

     I first learned to hate this saying one Saturday during The Summer of Darkness. I was staying with my sister, Bailey (for what reason, I don't remember.) We were eating at potluck and I was telling her why I was feeling sad and related the story as I have to you. And what did she say? You guessed it. "There are more fish in the sea." My dad and other sister, Hope, had tried to cheer me up or offer a little advice or encouragement. It was because of this that I realized how unhelpful that phrase was.

      I tried making sense the phrase. I tried finding comfort in the words, but I couldn't get past he fact that I didn't want any of the other "fish," I wanted my fish. I didn't want a carp, a coy, a salmon, or a bass. I didn't want any of those lesser fish, I wanted my Angelfish.

     People may say, "There are more fish in the sea" with good intentions, but ultimately it is no help at all. It just comes across as insensitive and mostly lazy. That is why I hate that term and will never say it to anyone else.